I envy those who still has the chance to celebrate with their mothers. Not that I celebrate it before, since my late mother didn’t like this kind of thing, but most of the time, I did something or bought something for her. The last gift I gave was a handmade sequin handbag because she loved these crafty thing. I bought it in Bali. She was so happy she got it. I am not sure whether she got the chance to use it because few weeks after that she passed away.
I know I wasn’t the best daughter. We did have our ups and downs. I know sometime I did hurt her. I had this very bad temper that sometimes it exploded without thinking of the consequences. My mother such a soft person. She rarely mad at me. Or my siblings. I guess that was the reason why after losing my temper, the guilt and regret as high as a mountain. But she never hold it against me.
One of the thing she worried most about me was me not married. She didn’t want me to be alone. She wanted me to have somebody that will take care of me like I did taking care of my siblings. She wanted me to have kids. Her idea was I’ll be more secured with a husband besides me. Though I wasn’t really agreed with her, but I think she carried that worries with her till the last day.
Today 12th May, is 4th anniversary she leaving this world to another, eternity one. I never forgot her. I miss her a lot. She is always in my prayer.
I hope I have the chance to meet you again one day.